I love my mummy xxx

I love my mum

She is almost 60 and still says fuck when we are alone together, loves achmed the dead terrorist and wears skinny jeans but they are not really skinny on her because she is 4 ft nothing.

I worked with her tonight at the somerville roast. She refuses to wear the polos and wears a nice black top instead, tizzes up her hair, wears a full face of makeup and smells of chanel no 5.

She got pregnant and married her first husband when she was 17. He beat her so after her second son was born she left and hooked up with my dad, who was her boss (dirty minx ha ha)

She married him. She had two sons and he had one son and two daughters. She took on a lot, bringing up all five kids while dad worked. Then SUPRISE! she fell pregnant with me!

She has always taught me to be confident and hold my head up high, because I am a beautiful, wonderful person- without her evil Primary School would have been a LOT harder. She taught me I was talented and allowed me to always explore and grow my talent. She has laughed with me and cried with me. We have shopped and shopped and shopped. The hardest time in my life was leaving her in Queensland when I was 18 and moved to Melbourne. I will always remember her face as the bus drove off.

She is awesome. She is my best friend. She is my biatch

I love my mummy xxx