Tuesday, March 6, 2012

Bitch?



I very recently- as in today- was told that lately it seems I am unhappy with my life and that I have been a bit of a - get ready for it- bitch lately.


I was shocked. I mean, I am in a really happy place in my life. I have an adorable toddler. A partner I adore and who adores me and shows it to me daily. A beautiful house we own. A sexy car. Awesome clothes. I am a lot skinner that I used to be. A great family. But then I thought about it and yeah- I have been a tad cranky lately! And I am not 100% sure why (i have some inclings) so I need to stop it as this cranky behaviour is not me! And it is not expressing who I am and what I am feeling inside. Don't get me wrong- the fact that someone called me the B word did wake me up to it, but I do not condone calling a woman that simply because her life is busy, things get on top of her and she simply stops to BREATH for a moment; we are ALL human and allowed to feel cranky and put out bitchy hat on every now and then but the more I think about it.. I feel like I have worn this hat more than any other item of clothes lately :(


So how I am going to fix it? What makes me feel better? what about my life is not working? How can I fix it? I mean, last year, my marriage failed. And admittedly, I hung around for longer than I should have because I didnt stop to think of how to fix my issues. Once I did a door opened and I found my life changed completely.. for the better.



Why am I cranky? Because I am a working full time mother. And I am busy and have LOTS to do! How am I going to fix this? By ADMITING that I am human! By accepting help from others. By having better TIME MANAGEMENT- such as simple quick meals during the week. Cooking on the weekends and freezing. By getting my friggin license so I dont have to get up at bloody 3:30am to get dropped off at mums so I can get to work!


Why am I cranky? because I haven't been eating the best food- sugar makes me cranky!!! How am I going to fix this? By eating better again (admittedly, I have already put this into place)


Why am I cranky? because I feel insecure and doubt myself. How am I going to fix this? By accepting that I am human and letting myself feel insecure but understanding that no one can MAKE ME feel insecure/inferior without MY consent. And I do NOT consent :-)


Why am I cranky? because I feed off other people and let them make me cranky! How am I going to fix this? By ignoring fuckwits and their fuckwittage. By NOT wasting time reading about their petty bullshit on social media!


What makes me feel better? Spending time with my awesome family- my son, my step son and my partner. My friends.. making more friends. Reading inspirational blogs. Taking time out for reading and writing. Eating healthy tasty food. Downtime shopping. Spontaneous fun times. Movies! Bowling etc.


And now the million dollar question- HOW IS MY LIFE NOT WORKING?



Well.. I hate my job. Here is how I am going to amend that;


1- get my license


2- do a bookkeeping course so I can do my partners BAS etc


3- do my Real Estate course


4- Apply for a real estate job in Pakenham. See if I like it :) If not, look for something HR-ish.. that is what else I am interested in.


I want to be skinnier. I know how to fix this LOL. I am all for HEALTHY AT ANY SIZE but for me its a personal preference and I would love to ideally be a comfortable size 12-14.


I need my license AHHHHHGGHHHHH~~!!@@((#&*#&^$&$^&* LOL



I am going again in 2.5 weeks. If I DON'T get it, I WILL be booking in again- THAT DAY!



So- in short.. my short term one month goals


1- license!


2- lose 2-3 kilos- to fit COMFORTABLY into my jay jays/just jeans jeans.- by eating right and working out more- i miss my working out!


3- time management!


4- make time! for my family friends AND ME!!!


5- continue to grow out my silly hair LOL



Ahhhh ok! Well I feel better now getting all that out! Watch this space for a better, happier, more organised DANIELLE :-) i am going to be posting heaps more because umm.. writing makes me happy LOL and I will be touching on all this again in 4 weeks! Can't wait to see how things have changed!


Happy Shnappies

Hi All

Well life has been full on as usual lately but I am loving it.
Life threw me a little curveball a few weeks ago but I am copeing quite well :) And why shouldn't I with the wonderful life I am living at the moment?



This is our bedroom- our tv on the wall with build in dvd player perfect for cold night snuggling in bed. Our new white chest of drawers with my array of crap- basket of nailpolishes, stuffed elephant, stuffed tiger my partner bought me, my wooden elephant, a polaroid pic of my mum and my auntie looking super fly back in the 7o's



This is our super sexy bed. I adore it. The bedside tables match the chest of drawers. The lamps are really shit quality (kmart) so I am thinking of replacing soon. I love the theme of black and white and red on the bed.
Me, rocking the last of my summer tan and regrowth that you can't see- I am currently in process of growing out my bleach/giving my hair a rest. I like this pic but it motivates me to not eat LOL- I have not been great with food since christmas and I have been not admitting it but I am back on the healthy eating/dieting wagon. I have lost so much it would be CRAZY to put it all back on/or not lose a little bit more! I am a size 14-16 now.. although my 14 target jeans are a touch too small/tight at the moment as are my 16 jay jays ones so my first aim is to lose 2-3 kilos and be back in them :)

I am going again for my license in 2-3 weeks. GOSH I hope I get it. I feel more confident that ever on the road but jeez.. its becoming a bit of a joke, Danielle's journey to getting a bloody drivers license lol. Anyway, this is our Calais that we bought before christmas. This is the car that my partner currently drives but once his 4wd is back from the mechanic he will drive that again and I will drive this car once I have my license.. soo my partner bought these number plates for me! <3 he has his sons name on his truck's plates that he drives for work so now both our boys have their own plates when they are over 18. Such a beautiful spunky man I have

My spunky grown up toddler. Sitting at our outside table eating pavlova LOL


My parner and I

my three boys. At the table at the alfresco area of our home.



<3