Bitch?

I very recently- as in today- was told that lately it seems I am unhappy with my life and that I have been a bit of a - get ready for it- bitch lately.

I was shocked. I mean, I am in a really happy place in my life. I have an adorable toddler. A partner I adore and who adores me and shows it to me daily. A beautiful house we own. A sexy car. Awesome clothes. I am a lot skinner that I used to be. A great family. But then I thought about it and yeah- I have been a tad cranky lately! And I am not 100% sure why (i have some inclings) so I need to stop it as this cranky behaviour is not me! And it is not expressing who I am and what I am feeling inside. Don't get me wrong- the fact that someone called me the B word did wake me up to it, but I do not condone calling a woman that simply because her life is busy, things get on top of her and she simply stops to BREATH for a moment; we are ALL human and allowed to feel cranky and put out bitchy hat on every now and then but the more I think about it.. I feel like I have worn this hat more than any other item of clothes lately :(

So how I am going to fix it? What makes me feel better? what about my life is not working? How can I fix it? I mean, last year, my marriage failed. And admittedly, I hung around for longer than I should have because I didnt stop to think of how to fix my issues. Once I did a door opened and I found my life changed completely.. for the better.

Why am I cranky? Because I am a working full time mother. And I am busy and have LOTS to do! How am I going to fix this? By ADMITING that I am human! By accepting help from others. By having better TIME MANAGEMENT- such as simple quick meals during the week. Cooking on the weekends and freezing. By getting my friggin license so I dont have to get up at bloody 3:30am to get dropped off at mums so I can get to work!

Why am I cranky? because I haven't been eating the best food- sugar makes me cranky!!! How am I going to fix this? By eating better again (admittedly, I have already put this into place)

Why am I cranky? because I feel insecure and doubt myself. How am I going to fix this? By accepting that I am human and letting myself feel insecure but understanding that no one can MAKE ME feel insecure/inferior without MY consent. And I do NOT consent :-)

Why am I cranky? because I feed off other people and let them make me cranky! How am I going to fix this? By ignoring fuckwits and their fuckwittage. By NOT wasting time reading about their petty bullshit on social media!

What makes me feel better? Spending time with my awesome family- my son, my step son and my partner. My friends.. making more friends. Reading inspirational blogs. Taking time out for reading and writing. Eating healthy tasty food. Downtime shopping. Spontaneous fun times. Movies! Bowling etc.

And now the million dollar question- HOW IS MY LIFE NOT WORKING?

Well.. I hate my job. Here is how I am going to amend that;

1- get my license

2- do a bookkeeping course so I can do my partners BAS etc

3- do my Real Estate course

4- Apply for a real estate job in Pakenham. See if I like it :) If not, look for something HR-ish.. that is what else I am interested in.

I want to be skinnier. I know how to fix this LOL. I am all for HEALTHY AT ANY SIZE but for me its a personal preference and I would love to ideally be a comfortable size 12-14.

I need my license AHHHHHGGHHHHH~~!!@@((#&*#&^$&$^&* LOL

I am going again in 2.5 weeks. If I DON'T get it, I WILL be booking in again- THAT DAY!

So- in short.. my short term one month goals

1- license!

2- lose 2-3 kilos- to fit COMFORTABLY into my jay jays/just jeans jeans.- by eating right and working out more- i miss my working out!

3- time management!

4- make time! for my family friends AND ME!!!

5- continue to grow out my silly hair LOL

Ahhhh ok! Well I feel better now getting all that out! Watch this space for a better, happier, more organised DANIELLE :-) i am going to be posting heaps more because umm.. writing makes me happy LOL and I will be touching on all this again in 4 weeks! Can't wait to see how things have changed!